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Some years are more insistent than others.
Some years have rules.
This year ended up having many.
Here they are, as spoken by my year:
- Stop.
- Stop everything.
- Just stop. Now – wait. You might have to wait a fairly long time.
- I said wait.
- Oi. I can see we’re going to have to immobilize you. I’m sure we can find some kind of unidentifiable illness for that… Ah! Here it is. (reads bottle) Chro-nic Fa-tigue Syn-drome. Yup! That should do it. (Pours liberally all over my soul.)
- Waaaaaait. See? It’s easier now, isn’t it? (much clenching of my teeth. time passes. slowly.)
- Did you hear something? No? Then don’t go anywhere. Wake me when you hear something.
- Still nothing? Ok well, in that case you might have to start walking back a little. Just turn around and walk. Look up. Keep walking.
- (I poke it in the ear) Great! That’s your guide. His name? Don’t ask too many questions. Let’s just stick with guide. It’s nice and clean that way. Now here’s your mission for the rest of your life:
- LISTEN TO YOUR GUIDE. Don’t do anything else. Got that?
- Now you see. I told you to listen to your guide; now see what happened. You have to TRUST your guide. Trust is important. Here. Learn something about trust.
- And stop trying to control everything. You can’t hear your guide when you do that, and then you end up wandering off and that causes a lot of paperwork problems for us. Read my lips: You do not run this ship anymore. Honestly, you never did. I know you liked the idea of it for quite some time, but really you’ve had little to do with anything. Now deal with that.
- No, things are not slowing down. Actually, they’re speeding up.
- This is fun! We should do this more often.
[Yes 2011. It's been fun. In a twisted sort of way, it's been a real blast.]
picture by Loretta Lux http://www.signatureillustration.org